Contemplathings XV

1. Joblessness. It's disgusting how I make fun of the fact that I am both currently unemployed and out-of-school, living a lifestyle that both intrigues and disgusts my friends. Yet I really don't do much about it.

2. The National Artist awards. Why is there even a National Artist award? It is presumptuous and elitist.

3. Iran. I just finished Reading Lolita and Tehran. Some Persian women really are blonde?

4. Vodka and cranberry juice. Oblivious to my protests that I am content with beer, my friend Jay insists that I should try this concoction.

5. Thoughts and ideas I can no longer share here. Whereas I had blogged freely before about past (failed or stunted) romances, prudence dictates that my blog now hardly remains the right venue to talk about the affairs of my, uh, heart. He blogs also.

Contemplathings XII

1. To resign or not to resign

It's final. Our company's migrating our account to Araneta Center on the 21st. Which means by then, I will have to start taking a jeep and a bus (or the MRT) everyday I go to work, since I live in Taguig. I ruled out the shuttle service in Market Market. (I've been getting tips that the car seats smell of old laundry.)

Then I read a company email from one of the Bosses. It noted that there is an alarming upward trend in absenteeism and tardiness, blah blah blah, and that there are agents who keep on getting away without punitive action. The email ends in a cheerful note: "I am not pleased and I don't want this to continue. I want blood."

In any case, there will have to be only one way to save my ass: resign before my neck says hi to the ax.

2. To text or not to text Joey.
To say that I miss him terribly would be the understatement of the century. There are times I would lie in my bed and try to remember his face and I would find out my memory of what he looks like fades by the day. That's a terrible thing, starting to unconsciously forget how someone you love looks like.

I want to continue texting him, invite him for a genuinely innocent cup of coffee. But that is the most guaranteed way to look like a stalker, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to look like one.


3. To go out or not to go out on V-Day.
I have been invited by someone already to go out on the day after this coming Friday the 13th. But I'm not sure it would be fair to the guy if I date him when I still have strong feelings for Joey.

I am also surprised though to find out that if it comes to it, there are actually people I would consider dating. Jeez, I'm a mess.

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My apologies if I can't continue my project in progress. There are just so many things going inside my head; I think I need a real Pensieve. As Jamie said, blogging is some sort of Pensieve, but I think I need the real thing. I'm that screwed up.