Contemplathings XV

1. Joblessness. It's disgusting how I make fun of the fact that I am both currently unemployed and out-of-school, living a lifestyle that both intrigues and disgusts my friends. Yet I really don't do much about it.

2. The National Artist awards. Why is there even a National Artist award? It is presumptuous and elitist.

3. Iran. I just finished Reading Lolita and Tehran. Some Persian women really are blonde?

4. Vodka and cranberry juice. Oblivious to my protests that I am content with beer, my friend Jay insists that I should try this concoction.

5. Thoughts and ideas I can no longer share here. Whereas I had blogged freely before about past (failed or stunted) romances, prudence dictates that my blog now hardly remains the right venue to talk about the affairs of my, uh, heart. He blogs also.

Contemplathings XIV

1. how I could more effectively repel attacks in Mafia Wars.
2. how I could anonymously delete Facebook "friends."
3. why a lot of people tell me I am insensitive.
4. why I don't tend to follow good advice.
5. why I can be mean, then make rash decisions, then regret it after.

Contemplathings XIII

1. My long-overdue Pene tribute. Nobody talks about the Oscars anymore, but a kudos post to someone like Penelope Cruz is perhaps always welcome; I just couldn't find the right mood to write decently and finish my blogpost draft. So I'm typing away randomly instead in an attempt to while away the hot afternoon hours.

2. Friends at the Collegian. I know I should not have reduced myself to being published in Inquirer's Youngblood. But I did, because I was bored, and now I have to live with the fact that Jerrie et al are disappointed with me. There's an unspoken but mutual opinion among them that I took the easiest way to write and get published, which is a polite way of saying I'm cheap. I'm afraid I don't entirely disagree. Lesson learned: do not ever do things out of mere boredom.

3. Last Order sa Penguin, by Chris Martinez. I just reread this Palanca-winning play, and I hope a theater house thinks about doing it onstage again. We could all certainly use a good laugh.

4. Rurouni Kenshin. I have liked anime well enough before, but when Naruto and a slew of other crass anime shows came into the picture, I lost my eagerness to watch more. I decided to watch Rorouni Kenshin (Samurai X) on DVD these past few weeks, and found out it was quite historically accurate to Japan's Bakumatsu period. Some even say most of the characters were patterned after real Shinsengumi members. I religiously followed the TV series back in high school, but I have never given much thought about it.

After I'm done with Rurouni, I'll hunt next for a copy of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Also back in high school when I was following the series on national TV, I always thought Rei is hot. And then I started noticing Shinji is hot, too. LOL.

Contemplathings XII

1. To resign or not to resign

It's final. Our company's migrating our account to Araneta Center on the 21st. Which means by then, I will have to start taking a jeep and a bus (or the MRT) everyday I go to work, since I live in Taguig. I ruled out the shuttle service in Market Market. (I've been getting tips that the car seats smell of old laundry.)

Then I read a company email from one of the Bosses. It noted that there is an alarming upward trend in absenteeism and tardiness, blah blah blah, and that there are agents who keep on getting away without punitive action. The email ends in a cheerful note: "I am not pleased and I don't want this to continue. I want blood."

In any case, there will have to be only one way to save my ass: resign before my neck says hi to the ax.

2. To text or not to text Joey.
To say that I miss him terribly would be the understatement of the century. There are times I would lie in my bed and try to remember his face and I would find out my memory of what he looks like fades by the day. That's a terrible thing, starting to unconsciously forget how someone you love looks like.

I want to continue texting him, invite him for a genuinely innocent cup of coffee. But that is the most guaranteed way to look like a stalker, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to look like one.


3. To go out or not to go out on V-Day.
I have been invited by someone already to go out on the day after this coming Friday the 13th. But I'm not sure it would be fair to the guy if I date him when I still have strong feelings for Joey.

I am also surprised though to find out that if it comes to it, there are actually people I would consider dating. Jeez, I'm a mess.

***

My apologies if I can't continue my project in progress. There are just so many things going inside my head; I think I need a real Pensieve. As Jamie said, blogging is some sort of Pensieve, but I think I need the real thing. I'm that screwed up.

Contemplathings XI

1. the sweet feeling of finally having patched things up with mom
2. whether I closed my windows when I left my apartment yesterday or not
3. a super-post on Natalie Portman flicks
4. why I can't add Shelfari as a widget
5. mermaidman and barnacleboy, and why things will never be the same again

Contemplathings X

1. mermaidman
2. how he sweats a lot when he's angry
3. enrolment at school
4. mermaidman
5. my "birthday project"
6. pork and beans for lunch?
7. what to wear to work for tonight
8. toilet caddies
9. mermaidman
10. being barnacleboy to mermaidman

Contemplathings IX

1. log-out time at work
2. to-do lists and their waning influence on me
3. Melane, Batangas
4. going back to school, Biology
5. to apply or not to apply for a promotion
6. Beren and Luthien (The Silmarillion)
7. hotdogs and instant pancit canton
8. Clean & Clear oil control films

Contemplathings VIII

1. "falling right through the cracks"
2. nicotine
3. Abby
4. fraternity hazings
5. Larissa Mae Suarez, the next Philippine Collegian editor-in-chief
6. Baguio
7. Rodrigo Santoro and Laura Linney in Love Actually

Contemplathings VII

1. my first Telus pay!
2. N70 music edition
3. Starbucks planner
4. Meredith Brooks
5. ukay-ukay
6. Damien Rice
7. training
8. VXI back pay
9. Philo argumentation and debate class
10. swollen gums

Contemplathings VI

1. Cris Mendez, Paolo Ante, John Fajardo
2. Dr. Porciuncula
3. Margaret Atwood and The Blind Assassin
4. Telus (formerly Ambergris)
5. Canada
6. Starbucks 2008 planner
7. Shelfari
8. Why I cannot view my Friendster homepage
9. The String Quartet
10. Mel and the "Question"

Contemplathings V

1. my turquoise-blue long-sleeved shirt
2. PE 2 subjects
3. Sigma Rho appeal to halt hearings of the Cris Mendez case at the UP SDT
4. Shelfari
5. JC
6. AT&T
7. lunch
8. the Southern American accent
9. Life of Pi movie, Jean Pierre Jeunet
10. Lemony Snickett and "Beatrice"

Contemplathings IV

1. Wowowee contestants
2. tuna
3. the legwork needed for my two articles for the Collegian
4. a co-trainee in the call center where I now work (whom everyone is pissed off with)
5. my grandparents in California
6. utility bills
7. Friendster
8. how popular this blog really is!

Contemplathings III

1. filing a leave of absence so i could be enslaved by the corporate world
2. breakfast
3. John Irving
4. contradictions of the protagonist in a short story I'm working on
5. the weather

Contemplathings II

1. the Collegian's campaign
2. Guillaume Canet, Marion Cotillard
3. siomai, fish balls
4. 2006 UAAP Cheerdance Competition
5. going home (I am at the Collegian office right now.)

Contemplathings I

1. lunch
2. dorm facilities in UP Diliman
3. the possibility of a 'point of realization of being gay'
4. the possibility of a 'point of realization of being straight'
5. Jamie Cullum's music
6. Frodo and Sam in Mordor
7. suicide ■