last post here

Three years is a long time. But to start anew, one must fold, rip, and continue below the dotted line.

100th Post: Elementary Calculus

There might be a day when I would go back to the comforts of routine, of newspaper stains on my fingers every morning, paydays, taxes, visits to the dentist, monthly bills; a day when I might go back to the monotony of lists and schedules.

There might be a day when I would I would neatly arrange books and DVDs on a shelf, by author and genre; a day when I would put old notebooks into neat labeled boxes and then tie the boxes with a string; a day when I would only remember things I want to remember.

There might be a day when I would buy a suitcase that I would fill with sighs and hopes, that I would abandon in a train, leaving it trapped between the tyranny of clocks and railways.

There might be a day when I would forget to dream while I am awake.

But today isn't that day. And tomorrow is luckily just a word.

One thing led to another

1. Blogger to Wordpress. I don't know when, how, or why I started to entertain the thought of moving to Wordpress, but I did. Maybe I am just bored with Blogger. Or maybe I am just bored. Period.

I might try it out until the novelty wears off. I have already an account in Wordpress, and I'm experimenting on two blogs. I haven't decided yet which one has the wittier URL.

2. Some Wordpress blogs worth reading. Second Struggle by Kris Canimo, Just (Un)thinking Out Loud by Christian Suller, and Cheap Inspector by Don Sebastian Cifra. Cheap Inspector's entries are especially witty, honest but interesting. Too bad he seems out of the loop now. His last entry was last January.

3. Anger. Christian of Just (Un)thinking Out Loud, a UP Baguio professor, wrote a particularly insightful entry on a mass walk-out he joined in about two months ago. The mobilization was against Charter Change and the proposed Constituent Assembly.

The entry made me stop and think of the last time I was angry. It bothers me that I could not remember. Some people say anger is not entirely unhealthy. Maybe this why I am so skinny.

Age-experience disconnect

I went to two house parties last night and I did not get drunk. I was not in the mood to get drunk. Koji asked me why this morning and I awkwardly fumbled for possible reasons. But I think I now have a suspicion.

I first went to Abby's girlfriend's birthday party, and almost everyone in attendance were either nearing thirty or with kids. They were really very nice, but I kept noticing that I was the only one who was not born during the Martial Law years. Then I went to my highschool classmate's party (she just passed the nursing board exams), and this time, I cannot help but notice that I was the only one among the group who hasn't finished school. They were all raving about their diplomas and laudes.

I didn't piece all of this up together until a few minutes ago, but I wonder no more why I wasn't tempted to pickle myself in vodka and beer last night.

Contemplathings XV

1. Joblessness. It's disgusting how I make fun of the fact that I am both currently unemployed and out-of-school, living a lifestyle that both intrigues and disgusts my friends. Yet I really don't do much about it.

2. The National Artist awards. Why is there even a National Artist award? It is presumptuous and elitist.

3. Iran. I just finished Reading Lolita and Tehran. Some Persian women really are blonde?

4. Vodka and cranberry juice. Oblivious to my protests that I am content with beer, my friend Jay insists that I should try this concoction.

5. Thoughts and ideas I can no longer share here. Whereas I had blogged freely before about past (failed or stunted) romances, prudence dictates that my blog now hardly remains the right venue to talk about the affairs of my, uh, heart. He blogs also.