I went to two house parties last night and I did not get drunk. I was not in the mood to get drunk. Koji asked me why this morning and I awkwardly fumbled for possible reasons. But I think I now have a suspicion.
I first went to Abby's girlfriend's birthday party, and almost everyone in attendance were either nearing thirty or with kids. They were really very nice, but I kept noticing that I was the only one who was not born during the Martial Law years. Then I went to my highschool classmate's party (she just passed the nursing board exams), and this time, I cannot help but notice that I was the only one among the group who hasn't finished school. They were all raving about their diplomas and laudes.
I didn't piece all of this up together until a few minutes ago, but I wonder no more why I wasn't tempted to pickle myself in vodka and beer last night.
the persistence of being earnest
-
Sometimes I swear it is easy to just give up whenever the universe is
sending me signals that it doesn’t care about what I’m trying my best to
accomplish—m...
10 years ago
11 comments:
On my part, I avoid get-togethers as much as possible. I'm not a social butterfly and mingling is oftentimes excruciating for me. In other words, I'm very anti-social. =)
that's completely understandable.
i have been trained, against my nature, to be a social butterfly, but it feels like having someone stick a spigot into my arm and then drain me of vital fluids. i couldn't imagine getting drunk on top of that.
with respect to your intermediate age relative to the age-cohorts of both of those parties, sounds like you are transitioning, di ba?
@andy: I'm not really very antisocial, but get-togethers pose a sort of premise that everyone inside the room are more or less similar people. And it's hardly people's fault that I stick out in a crowd (for the wrong reasons). All the same, those two parties made me too tired to get myself drunk.
@cb: I had to review everything to understand why I did not get drunk. :D
@lance: When you said "transitioning," I immediately owned the term. These past months, it seems I had always been in a sort of perpetual "transitioning" between cliques of the carefree young and the seriously grown-up. It's dizzying.
We usually do massive hiring in our office two, three times a year. Sadly, a college degree was recently made mandatory. Let me know if and when you finally obtain your diploma. I'd be more than happy to forward your application to HR. =)
awww. na-guilty naman ako bat di ako nakasama :( ang butihing ina ko, di ako pinayagan eh.. gabi na daw. hahaha (bagong lipat diba? :P)
lika, usap tayo next week. hahaha (la na ko pera ngayong week eh hihi) ano? ano? game?
@Andy: I will let you know. Thanks.
@Nika: Basta ba treat mo eh. Hehe. You know my number. :)
ayyy... don't be sad. you're perfectly good as you are...
:)
well, thanks, juber. :) nga pala, for some reason, i can't comment on your blog. when the word verif thing pops up, i can't read the verification word. putol.
Ahhh... to not belong. I've pretended so many times to be in the past in selected situations and I've seen others felt awkward for whatever reason. They would struggle to relate. I did something like that also. Lately, I just don't mind not fitting in (kung anuman 'yung scenario). Maybe because I'm more assertive now to just let things be. Case in point: be stared at for looking like I didn't to fit in.
speaking only from my own experience, despair and depression are usually two sure signs that a transition is afoot.
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