[at the smoking lounge]
Me: Hello there, how are you?
Victim #1: Hi, not too bad!
Me: What's that on your face, lipstick?
Victim #1: Huh? Saan?
Me: There on your left cheek.
Victim #1: Really? ba't di mo sinabi agad?
Me: Wipe it away now, dali.
Victim #1: (wipes her cheek with her hankie, then looks at the hankie) Wala naman ah.
Me: Well, Happy April Fools.
Victim #1: (flashes me a bloddcurdling look) Oh you go to hell.

[at the stations]
Me: Hey, how's everything?
Victim #2: Not too bad, I had worse days, haha!
Me: What happened to your eye?
Victim #2: Puyat lang.
Me: No, it's just your left eye. Parang kinagat ng insekto, namamaga kaya.
Victim #2: Hala, talaga... (grabs the mirror on her desk) Hindi naman a...
Me: Look closer.
Victim #2: Hindi naman e... (by now very worried)
Me: Have I greeted you happy April Fools already?
Victim #2: Oh f*ck you!